Dodging Danger

Each day that I forget to pray when I get up, I'm soundly reminded to do so once I get into my car. Living in the Bronx and driving to work each day is like hiking on the edge of a cliff with a broken leg. It is dangerous, but you have to push through it as best as you can because you have to get to where you're going, no matter what the impediment.

Other Bronx drivers are my impediment.

In the Bronx, all lines on roadways are mere suggestions. It is generally underused and announces to the borough that, yes, we are a part of New York City--we just do things differently and according to our own rules. Crossing the street is not challenging enough for us. We like to do so in the middle of rush hour traffic, at night, with all black on, walking slow and mean-mugging all passers-by. That's some balls.

In the Bronx, we don't 'stay in our lanes', as I used to hear people back home yell out the window. Here in the Bronx, the correct lane to drive in is the lane that you create on your own. It's very common to see someone straddling the middle line between two lanes--almost like the luxury, double-wide lanes Kramer created when he adopted a stretch of highway on Seinfeld. This way, the greedy son-of-a-bitch can easily access the lane they need in order to continue forward momentum without being stopped by other Bronx impediments. You see, in the Bronx, when it comes to driving, it's like the fricken' wild wild west. At any minute, you can almost expect that you'll have to dodge a tumbleweed or two.

Except, in the Bronx, it'll probably be a woman dragging 3 kids behind her, ushing a double stroller without looking both ways or paying any attention to the directsion the crosswalk signal is displaying. If they're at the crosswalk.

In the Bronx, these streets are mean. Literally--the potholes are big as Kilauea, and they happily enjoy ripping your under carriage away from your vehicle. They are cruel and ruthless. See, we don't fill our potholes with asphalt or cement, like other boroughs. We use them as landfills. Slow pidgeons, weak squirrels, spare parts that roll off of previously damaged vehicles, plastic bags and cigarette butts. It technically should be cordoned off as biohazards.

The best times--meaning, safest and least congested, are early mornings, when the weather is very cold, or it's a Jewish holiday. It's almost a phenomenon, but these are the times I cherish--especially Jewish holiday. For a borough that prides itself as having the largest gathering of latino's, perhaps in the country, every Jewish holiday, the driving is so easy, one might think I actually lived in Borough Park.

I know there are a lot of Jewish people in the Bronx--I just never thought they all took the same route to work as I did.

And so it is. Each day I physically get dressed for work. Then I mentally and prayerfully suit-up for my always eventful trek to work. My father always advised me that it is always best to make sure you live close to your job so that you're not worried about the commute. Well perhaps I should have taken his advice in this case. Of course, that would require me to live somewhere between Kingsbridge and Williamsbridge.

That's alright, Pops. I'll take my chances and just remind myself to pray more often.

Aloha.

What Do I Do?!?

You ever have one of those days that you just don't know which direction to go? Or you have to make a choice between two decisions with two different outcomes and you don't know which one to make? I feel like that today.

Whenever I have a decision to make, I always remember what I was taught to do when I was young. My Aunty L (my mom's younger sister) was a good aunt to me. She was single and never got married, so my brothers, sisters and I were like her kids. She was always a part of our lives and the things I remember about her and the way I saw her live serve as lessons for me to live by as an adult. One of the biggest lessons I learned from her example is seeing her go to church.

Now I realize that the act of going to church doesn't make you a better person or help you make better choices. It doesn't make you a Christian no more than singing 'Single Ladies' will make you Beyonce. (Though people still try! Shrug.) But, I'm a firm believer that consistency builds faithfulness and character. So seeing her get up each Sunday even when she wasn't feeling well, really taught me. If she found the energy to make the effort to see God, then perhaps I should too. See my parents weren't big church-goers. They both were raised in diffeent faiths-Pentecostal on my dad's side and Catholic on my mom's. So my first experience in church was at a Congregational Protestant church that spoke most of the service in Hawaiian. Go figure. My aunt was a sickly woman. So when she was too ill to go anywhere, I could always count on seeing her and her bible praying to get better. She always went to God to pray for her healing and help. So that always stayed with me till this day.

So yesterday I'm thinking about a few things that's been on my mind. Adult things like bills, thing I need, things I want to do this year, places I want to go. You know, I went through the grocery/life list. School, family, work, etc. We all have these conversations in our head. Is this person the right one for me--are we compatible? Is this the best job for me and what I want to do for the rest of my life? Have I moved to the right place--is this where I want to live? What am I going to do pay my bills? Do I want to get married? Who's going to help me when I get old? These are questions that are constant and universal to humans.

I spoke to a friend of mine and asked what are her methods of dealing with questions of life, and she chooses meditation. Another friend always consults professionals~from sex, money to buying furniture, he has someone on speed dial for that. When I'm at the crosswalk on life's busy highway and I don't know whether to walk or stop, I do a combination of seeking professionals opinions and relaxing meditation, but my first choice is always to pray. I learned it as a young man and it's always helped me. And I've never felt like a prayer of mine has gone unanswered, especially knowing in my spirit that a lot of times, no answer is the answer (Side note: That's the "worst case scenario" response that I don't like, but it happens sometimes). From the simplest things to the more complex problems I've ever faced, I've always taken a moment to shoot a prayer and ask for guidance and peace. I'll never think twice about runnng anywhere else.

What do you do? What helps you out when you don't know what to do? Whatever it is that you do, I hope that your methods help you and bring you to a place where you experience the joy of receiving an answer. If it doesn't, perhaps you may need to find another method. If that's the case, try praying. It's helped me.