Dodging Danger

Each day that I forget to pray when I get up, I'm soundly reminded to do so once I get into my car. Living in the Bronx and driving to work each day is like hiking on the edge of a cliff with a broken leg. It is dangerous, but you have to push through it as best as you can because you have to get to where you're going, no matter what the impediment.

Other Bronx drivers are my impediment.

In the Bronx, all lines on roadways are mere suggestions. It is generally underused and announces to the borough that, yes, we are a part of New York City--we just do things differently and according to our own rules. Crossing the street is not challenging enough for us. We like to do so in the middle of rush hour traffic, at night, with all black on, walking slow and mean-mugging all passers-by. That's some balls.

In the Bronx, we don't 'stay in our lanes', as I used to hear people back home yell out the window. Here in the Bronx, the correct lane to drive in is the lane that you create on your own. It's very common to see someone straddling the middle line between two lanes--almost like the luxury, double-wide lanes Kramer created when he adopted a stretch of highway on Seinfeld. This way, the greedy son-of-a-bitch can easily access the lane they need in order to continue forward momentum without being stopped by other Bronx impediments. You see, in the Bronx, when it comes to driving, it's like the fricken' wild wild west. At any minute, you can almost expect that you'll have to dodge a tumbleweed or two.

Except, in the Bronx, it'll probably be a woman dragging 3 kids behind her, ushing a double stroller without looking both ways or paying any attention to the directsion the crosswalk signal is displaying. If they're at the crosswalk.

In the Bronx, these streets are mean. Literally--the potholes are big as Kilauea, and they happily enjoy ripping your under carriage away from your vehicle. They are cruel and ruthless. See, we don't fill our potholes with asphalt or cement, like other boroughs. We use them as landfills. Slow pidgeons, weak squirrels, spare parts that roll off of previously damaged vehicles, plastic bags and cigarette butts. It technically should be cordoned off as biohazards.

The best times--meaning, safest and least congested, are early mornings, when the weather is very cold, or it's a Jewish holiday. It's almost a phenomenon, but these are the times I cherish--especially Jewish holiday. For a borough that prides itself as having the largest gathering of latino's, perhaps in the country, every Jewish holiday, the driving is so easy, one might think I actually lived in Borough Park.

I know there are a lot of Jewish people in the Bronx--I just never thought they all took the same route to work as I did.

And so it is. Each day I physically get dressed for work. Then I mentally and prayerfully suit-up for my always eventful trek to work. My father always advised me that it is always best to make sure you live close to your job so that you're not worried about the commute. Well perhaps I should have taken his advice in this case. Of course, that would require me to live somewhere between Kingsbridge and Williamsbridge.

That's alright, Pops. I'll take my chances and just remind myself to pray more often.

Aloha.

Once upon a time...

...there was a little girl who never followed rules. Every kind of instruction she was given, she would find some way to get out of following. When given a chore to do, she would find a reason why she was not able to perform it. "I don't know how to do it, show me!" "I want to do it this way, not the way you instructed." Whenever she was given homework, she always had an excuse why she couldn't finish it. "I have questions, so I couldn't do anything else until you answered them." "I was busy doing other things so now I need more time." At every opportunity, she either gave an excuse or came up with one ridiculous reason why she did not do what she was told to do.

One day, her mother got so fed up with the girls disrespectful laziness, she packed her up and sent her to the orphanage. When she arrived, it did not phase her that she was no longer living in her own home. She made no friends and she made no impact on anyone except annoy them because of her laziness. Her parents didn't miss her, and she made no lasting positive impression on anyone in the orphanage. When she became of age to be released from the orphanage's care, she left. No one heard from her again. There was no fanfare or sadness. She just disappeared and life went on.

The End

The moral of the story: There is no lesson to learn, except that the best way to make an impact in life, is to do something. Do anything. It's best to do good things, positive things--things that make life better, easier, happier, for someone else. A life spent being lazy in your relationships, lazy in your mind or lazy in your attitude will leave little of you to be remembered and make it much easier for you to be forgettable.

Embarking On New Challenges

I purposed, or proposed to myself, that this year I will challenge myself to do things that I've always wanted to do and to make sure that I don't back down from doing so. I've written what I have in mind and heart to accomplish this year. Today I took the first steps towards meeting them by officially joining the New York Road Runners Club, and signing up for my first NY 5K race taking place in March. So what does this mean?

This means no large fries, or fries of any kind with my double cheeseburger. Scratch that--I can't even get a burger at McD's. No more chinese take out, no more chocolates or sodas in the house. I've thrown out the chips in my office file cabinet for those days when I want something salty. Removed all the hard candies and packs of single-serve popcorn for those 'i just want a little snack to tide me over' moments. I've given away all of the treats from my Christmas stockings, and handed over the flavored popcorn I just picked up from Costco as an impulse buy. That's one of my problems--I bought a huge 3-pack of flavored popcorn as an impulse purchase. Only a true fat-ass would do that.

I cleared out my refrigerator of all of the no-no's. Got rid of the sparkling cider that I bought for the holidays for the non-drinkers. Packed up the candy apple that someone gave me and trashed the half-eaten cookie that I took from a frenemy who offered it as a 'holiday treat' at my office holiday party. Why I took a bite makes me think I may have been feeling 'the spirit of the season' too much; actually bringing the leftover cookie home and placing it in my refrigerator makes me think that I was probably high. I tossed it out like Jordan in his 90's hey-day.

I rustled through all the extra sweets tucked away in my freezer--a piece of pie from the deli, some candy bars from the bodega, and a blueberry muffin from the bagel shop around the corner. I grudgingly got rid of what was left of the half-gallon strawberry ice cream from Breyers (my FAVORITE) and even dismissed the 'healthy' fruit bar/yogurt alternatives that I reasoned would not make me fat but allow me the opportunity to get a taste of something sweet like ice cream, without it being detrimental to my health. Of course, I also reasoned that having 3 on a random, hot October day, was okay--it was yogurt, after all!

Fat ass.

I realize that making these life fulfilling goals requires making life altering changes. Changes to which I almost completely embrace. I know--if I want to do it, there is a cost to it. So if this is what I need to do in order to reach a dream, so be it--this is worth it and I know the outcome will be more amazing then me and this moment. I will probably not even remember having to close my eyes, as I run roughshod through my cabinets and countertops with a black trash bag in the dark to snatch and shove items that I desperately desire but must deeply denounce. It will all be worth it. I'm sure of it. I'm almost certain of it. Well, maybe 85% certain.

Okay, 58%. But I'm gonna get there...it'll just take a moment.

Aloha.

So Let Us Begin...

I just got off of the phone with one of my dearest friends, and I'm so glad that I was able to speak to her. It's funny because she always tells me that I always seem to call her when there is something going on in her life where she needs a friend to talk to. I laugh all the time, but I believe that she doesn't realize that she provides the same relief and respite for me. We joke that God is sorta nudging me to contact her because she needs help. Little does she know that it is God that is nudging me to call because I need to hear her voice. As much as I'd like to take some credit for 'hearing God' and calling her, I can only admit to 'hearing' God speak to my heart, 'call her, she has the remedy you need.' And that voice is always right.

I'll call her, and she'll pick up the phone, and it'll be like we've been speaking for the last few days, when in actuality, it's been months. We've become so close, that all pretense, awkward pauses and shame are never encountered. Something I am thankful for and really blessed to experience in my life.

So let us begin this new year with the reminder that in fact, the people in your life are in your life for a purpose. Either to be an example of what to do, or an example of what not to do. Another way to look at it, is the way I've understood my purpose in the lives of those who I have relationships with--I'm here to affect positive change in the lives of others and have others affect positive change in me.

To my friend--thank you. You add more to my life than you realize.

Aloha.