Year Of Being Honest...

I had a fun night walking around the City with two home-girls. It is so heavy laden with tourists and out of towners that the simple act of walking down any street is not only a chore because of the amount of people, but a hazard. A hazard moreso to those around us, because the frustration that builds is tangible. Holidays in the City is not pretty or easy for those who live here.

While walking, I realized that I had gas--so I used my WAD (Weapon of Ass Destruction) and led the pack. Like the final fight scene in the movie Independance Day, the character of the presidend of the United States says, 'let's clear the road.'

Well, I cleared it, alright.

The funny thing is, my two home-girls and I began talking about things (like farts, and dating...I know, weird combo) that personally I feel embarrassed of and would never talk about. However we spoke and I felt more connected to them. I felt comfortable in my skin. Then I remembered a lesson I learned years ago when I first got saved--a life of transparency is truly living in freedom. Freedom from having to hide behind pretense and facades. Security in finding confidence and security in being the person God created, developed and sustains. Power in realizing that I have finally reached a place in my life where I do not care what people have to say or what kind of opinions they have about my decisions. Heck, I have enough for 8 people. I can be me.

I fully believe in being wise in how and what I share about myself, my ideas. my opinions and my beliefs. I believe everyone's "filter" when it comes to expressing themselves is key in maintaining discretion and protecting themselves. It's just the smart and right thing to do. However, I do recognize that in order for me to make connections with people and for them to see my intentions of love towards them, I must be transparent. People in my life must see that despite my desire to appear in the 'best light,' the greatest testimony I can have to someone and be to someone is for them to see me as being like any other person. That what I may ever attain in this life does not match or compare to the power there is in being relatable and have flaws, but still be able to live in victory and with joy.

I promise to be honest to you this year. As brutal as it may get for me. The only way I can grow and actually allow this blog experience to work for me is to acknowledge that true change and hopefully transformation, will only be obtained when I deal honestly and truly allow my life to be an open book so that you can hopefully relate. Perhaps when that happens, that place of honesty can become the foundation of change for the both of us. Fart stories and all.

We'll see. Aloha.

A few things that I did in 2011

I think the biggest thing I did that made me enjoy this year the most is taking a ride on a gondola through the narrow veiny waterways of Venice, Italy. It was a dream fulfilled. I'm not sure where I got the idea and the desire, or how long I had it. But I know that it was a strong inclination and something that I couldn't shake for years. It was a brief flash of late-night insomnia on a phone conversation with a friend that the words, "let's go to Venice for my birthday" spit out of my mouth and into the atmosphere. Instantly, it took root. "That sounds like fun, let's go!" was the response. The tickets were bought that night, and four months later, we were both sitting in the United Air Executive Club at JFK, eating quiche, drinking champagne and eagerly awaiting our flight to another island in the Mediterranean.

There was a lot of unexpected things I experienced that not only added to the breadth of life events that I gained, but taught me a lot about the kind of person I've become. I was able to enjoy the beauty of being in ones company, and in being in the company of one. Walking through the corridors of ancient cobbled paths stirred within me both fascination and apprehension, and cast a spell of wonder and hesitance and intrigue all under an umbrella of fun. I accomplished a dream and continually pinched myself to make sure I wasn't sleeping.

Between the opulent eye candy of history, the mystery of architectural glory and the continuous time-zones we recognized and celebrated by toasting it with multi-colored cones of gelato, the sights, sounds, textures, tastes and scents of the Queen of the Adriatic was a wonder to behold. I think the best part of this trip for me was the prayer I was able to give, thanking God for allowing me to not only receive a dream of a lifetime, but to also acknowledge my mother and father and my family who has passed in another island 4 continents, 7 time zones and miles and oceans away. I made it there, and I took them with me.

We only turn 40 once, and we never pass this way again, so this trip was definitely something I am not only proud of, but humbled by.

I'm back to write....

...guess who didn't win.

Well, I guess I can't say that. I did win $5 off of my scratch off cards. And all I did was spend $6. What'd I tell you about my 'luck' theory. Oh well, I'd probably miss my job. Probably.

Not.

Anyhow, I'm really loving that tomorrow is my last full day of work for 2011. Had I won the lottery, that statement would have been written with much more exclamation points. Being that it is my last day, I've been working my tail off up until this week to try and complete all of my 2011 projects. Having done everything that was assigned except one, I am so glad that I will be able to spend much of my time tomorrow in boxing and filing away a lot of paperwork and cleaning my office.

I'm getting my registration forms for school ready as well. I forgot how tedious it is to look for a class, gather what it will be about and schedule courses to make sure that I'm able to give it the amount of time necessary, mentally prepare myself for the expectations as well as juggle my work schedule, integrate a life living on a budget, all the while incorporating a healthier workout and eating regime. Multi-task much?!?

So in preparation for this weekends New years plans, I'm busy planning a menu, creating a shopping list, developing a musical playlist and coordinating some sort of itinerary. Call me the Pocono's Julie McCoy...I'll be making all your activities both fun and relaxing at the same time. So, I know no one is really reading this, but if some random person does by providencial command, breeze past this before Friday, December 30th, 2011, do you have any suggestions for songs that should be in rotation New Years Eve? I may not play it, however any suggestions will do---and you never know--I've been known to spontaneously do something out of character.

I'll tell you this much==had I won megamillions, I would have hired someone to make this list. Heck, I may have even spontaneously hired Mariah to sing the playlist at the cabin. (Dreaming HUGE this year--remember?!?) Aloha!

What to do with $206 mill...

So I just ran out to the bodega around the corner from my apartment to pick up my megamillion ticket. Will I win--I can only hope. Am I that kind of lucky guy that can dial into a radio station and end up as the instant winner of an all access pass to a Mariah Carey concert...nope, that's not me. Even if a bird crapped on me. (An old wives tale that is really full of it--any crap flying at you is never good, trust me.) I just heard a superstition that you should rub off those scratch off tickets with a penny, not a quarter (or a nickel or dime, for that matter), because the penny is proof that you need the money, whereas the quarter (or nickel or dime, for that matter) means that you're too damn rich and therefore cosmically, are proving, maybe even greadily mocking the luck gods.

Now if you know me, you know that I don't believe in 'luck gods.' I'm not even sure if I believe in luck. To me, 'luck' flies opposite my belief that the Higher Power has all things in control, and perhaps it's not my providential destiny for me to get rich through some numbered ping pong balls gathered up by a botoxed glittery stick figure with way too much face paint to imply abstinence. Perhaps it is my fortunate future to lose a lot of money if I participate, and perhaps gain a little here and there. Enough losing to keep me humble, and enough winning to keep me hopeful.

The other day I won $22 bucks off of 20 $1 tickets I received for Christmas. True to form--I won just enough to keep me entertained, but not enough to make me an a--hole. That's what I'd call a graceful blessing. In any case, I'll be checking my numbers first thing in the morning, and using a penny for the scratch offs. I guess it wouldn't hurt.

Turning over a new leaf

So I've decided again to do something, but this time i'm looking for someone to keep me accountable. There are several things that I'd like to accomplish, not only 'this coming year', but something I'd like to check off of my bucket list. No, I'm not planning (or desiring/hoping) on kicking the bucket anytime soon--unless you believe in all that Mayan lore--but there is no time like the present to start doing what could have possibly been done years ago. And you all know, I'm not getting any younger. But, if all works out to my desires, I may be getting healthier, and thinner in the process. So in order to get a jump on my 'new years resolution', something to which I think everyone should create. Why? Because it's always good to have goals. To lay before you your dreams, aspirations, desires. I've said it before and am a firm believer--Dream Big. I have a Big God! So, I'm dreaming HUGE!!!! Here are a few things I'm planning on doing this year...

1. Finishing school. College, that is. I want to finally be able to say that I've received my degree in the field that I'm actually in, to not only validate the work that I do (and love), but to also prove to my posterity that an education is always possible no matter what age.

2. Run the Honolulu Marathon. I've always wanted to do this, but to do this in my homeland would be an even bigger accomplishment. I've got a great trainer and have my eyes set on the goal--Christmas in Hawai'i, 2012.

3. Get financially fit, baby! Better than pay off all my debt, I want to pay off the debt of my family. That wouldn't be just 'fit,' that would be frickin' fantastic. And doable for sure.

4. Read more. Specifically, read through the entire Bible again, and at least 2 books a month. It's been awhile since I've read more than watched t.v. When I get home from work where I read so much damn regulatory material, all I can do is veg. But not this year--I have me a list and it's on like popcorn.

5. Write my blog. Yes, that's right..I'm planning on setting out sometime during the day, every day, for the next 365, to write something. Not so much to fulfill a goal, but more importantly to practice consistency. You see the theme for the new year...consistency.

So, say a prayer for me, wish me luck, and I'll be in touch with you tomorrow.

Aloha!